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Muscovy

by Cadigan

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1.
Bruised 03:02
Chivalry is dead, romance is next. I've got a brand-new price put on my head. I can waste a day with the best of them. Pull me up a stool and let's begin. Lessons learned from shameless self-abuse. Vices being the only thing left to lose. Here's to our bruised hearts and bad livers, tired lungs and skin that we're so desperate to cover up. Here's to our sharp tongues and long nights, misguided words, reluctant we raise our glasses in the dark. Three cheers for our bruised hearts. The truth is dead, and love is next. I hold it right here in this cigarette. It burns real slow to my fingertips and when I exhale you can read my lips. Finding ways to bury wasted time. The panic will not set in until the end of tonight.
2.
Spit 03:19
You're remarkable. Look at the way you shine. Tin menagerie. Caught up in a web and a sequence that I would try to shy away from. It's the space between hair and fingernails. Watching paper dance. Assemble and burn these weary eyes. They will try to shy away from. Submitted fears to trusted peers, and they will pass their judgement. This slow steady pace is winning the race. A false start recovering nice. The thrill of the chase. The scenery splayed. The spit on my face has dried. You go and change and I'll stay the same. At least we can say we tried. Dissolve back and fade to credits and thanks. Pupils discovering light. Is this all there is? Let's go to the tape. Planned commercial break that is poorly received, we'll fix it in post. You're remarkable. Look at the way you shine. Prized refracted time. Rainbows on carpets. I'm losing my mind. Too tired to hold on. I will shy away from.
3.
Claire 02:21
The strangers we've become. The lengths that we would go to find our place beneath the snow. The distance takes it toll. The wheels begin to roll along the graves we dug for show. Stitch tight all these wounds and kiss me when I go. I know the poems along the boards. Scars across my back, red beneath the road. I'm outmatched and overrun. Hands against the stone. Buzzing in my bones. I am finally coming home. Everything has changed. Nothing stays the same. Read the lines on my weathered palms.
4.
You 04:29
My god, it's been so long since I last found redemption in anything I've done. In these last five years I've squandered so much love. I can never get it back. Keep your head held high until you hear me say...It's alright, we'll both be fine. I'm out here on this picket line protesting things that will not ever change. Toast this drink to secrets kept. Give me something to forget where you are and why I’m still here. Why am I still here? Walking these same streets. Screaming the same questions. Receiving the same answers. This will never change. Holding back these tears so no one will ever see that I am just this weak. Believe me when I say. It's alright, we'll both be fine. I'm out here on this picket line protesting things that will never change. A long exhale. I haven't slept. Give me something to forget where you are and why I'm still here. Why am I still here? Sometimes there are no words. A gesture does no justice. Share with me this silence. To know we are this small and carry so much hope. This is exactly what we've been waiting for. It's alright we'll both be fine. I'm out here on this picket line protesting things that will not ever change. I walk this lake and retrace these steps. Give me something to forget where you are and why I'm still here. Why am I still here?
5.
Scissors 02:47
4 A.M. Well, you know I’ll never sleep. Do I dare to dream? The cut is clean. Put the contract by the sink. It is not yet time to leave. Put the embers in the tall grass and place your weight on top of me. I'm spent. Put all my best lies out to pasture. Burn holes in all the leaves. Think fast because it's always fading faster than I'd ever let myself believe. Terrified of the past I left behind. Loose ends I'll never tie. Your face in storefront windows on the street. Who needs a drink? Peel the paint from all the door frames, leave but a little honesty. Blank stare. Tunnel vision in the passing train car. Why am I still standing here? Too stoned. I just blinked and lost entire plot points. Hail Mary another year.
6.
Shells 03:52
Broad strokes watercolor stain. Tie-dyed level sink or swim. Bruised heart silent resonate. Missed the mark, it just didn't take. It's on the line. The sound of your voice in the waves. All of our chances just stand here and wait. Blindside firefly, don't leave me here in the wake. A fine lie, my minds eye looks as the setbacks sway. I'm all bundled up. It's never enough sweetness concerned with me. Legs flail as hail rails. One day we'll wash it all clean. Blissed out silver teeth and tongue. Missed the last chance to cut and run. Boxed in grabbing fraying twine. I've got the words if I had more spine.
7.
Alarm 02:08
Mark Twain! Full steam ahead! A low knell that's burning in my head. Fuck, I just woke up again. Heavens to Murgatroyd! That's your move when you're finally given a choice? How's that working out for you? I'm just scared of what's left to come, and the truth that this could happen to anyone. Punch drunk and uninspired. My eyes are open but I'm just too fucking tired. Feel that metal on my teeth. Sir this is purgatory. Put your things on the belt and follow me. Desert Island Top 5 Dreams. It's too late. It's too hard to shut down. I'm not sure I've got the stomach to wait it out.

credits

released September 6, 2021

Engineered, Produced and Mixed by: Jesse Nichols @ The Atomic Garden West

Mastered by: Mike Kalajian @ Rogue Mastering

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Cadigan San Francisco, California

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